I am NOT a special snowflake.
So often, after explaining my views about unschooling, I am told "not everyone could do that. You, you're different. You have a thirst to learn. You clearly are a human with opinions, and you have gone out and actually wanted to learn things, and here you are. Not everyone is like that. You're special."
Given, this may not be the exact words that are said, but the idea behind them is there. Always lurking behind the fact that I can measure up to whoever is holding up the yardstick is the subtle (or not so subtle) inference that I just happened to get lucky, and that I'm not the norm.
Before I go any further, I want to make something abundantly clear. I am not saying that my lifestyle is for everyone, since I know a few friends who have been unschooled for their entire lives, and then chose to go to school because they wanted to. I'm not saying that some people don't need structure. I'm not saying that everyone would do well in the intensely radical life that I lead.
Here is what I am saying.
I am not an abnormality.
I am not some sort of wonder child who has managed to reach beyond my hopelessly unstructured and uncontrolled life to grasp at knowledge against all odds.
I am not a special snowflake.
When you tell me that I'm an anomaly, that I'm doing well, but that's not the norm, you are doing a number of things, and none of them are kind.
First, you are seriously underselling the vast majority of people, and their abilities to function in the world. I am a firm believer in the theory that, if given the chance and left to their own devices, most (if not all people) will end up knowledgeable in whatever field that interests them. A structured, oppressive school system feeds information into people's heads so that they can take tests well. This is what school is for. School is not for following passions, for finding out who you are, or who you want to be. It is for taking tests and passing tests.
Secondly, you are saying that I have, against all odds, managed to be a person with thoughts, intellect, and a grasp on what everyone so maddeningly calls "the real world*". When you think you're complimenting me, what you're really doing is congratulating me on overcoming my life.
My life is not something to be overcome. It's not something that I struggled against. It's not a miracle that I'm doing as well as I am.
So in closing, even if you think it's a compliment, please don't tell me that I'm a special case, and that I'm just better/more motivated than everyone else.
If you want to compliment me, just please do not do it in a way that makes it seem like I have overcome my chosen education.
Thank you,
~Whimsy
P.S. Thinking about doing a series of posts on unschooling.
P.P.S. The heavy topics will eventually go away, and we'll go back to Whimsy's Usual Madness.
*There's so much to say about this, too.
More TL;DR.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry if I offended you, because that really wasn't my intent. I didn't mean AT ALL that you had "overcome" your life by chance. That thought didn't even occur to me. I didn't mean to say that you are abnormal, just that your learning style clearly fits very well with unschooling. It works well for and your family, and that is awesome. But yes, you are different from people I know. If you don't think so, you really need to meet... well, everyone I know. I don't really see how being different is a bad thing at all.
I really hope anything else I have said didn't rub you the wrong way. I just think this topic is really interesting and we both have a lot of opinions and I think we both have made interesting, well thought points for each side.
We both have had very different experiences with people, I think, which is why we're both so adamant about our beliefs. I have met maybe three people who would be able to function as an unschooler (even most homeschoolers I knew in high school are really effed up now). You know significantly more people who thrive in it.
So, we are obviously going to have to agree to disagree based on our own personal interactions with people, and that is totally cool. Also, it might make a difference that I live in the South. The vastly differing cultures in America astound me sometimes.
"School is not for following passions, for finding out who you are, or who you want to be. It is for taking tests and passing tests."
I AGREE with this completely btw, and I said in my last comment that I think the public/private school system needs to be completely revamped. As it is, it is very flawed. I've always thought we should steal from the British school system.
I would LOVE to see a series of posts about unschooling. No debating, I just want to know about your experience because it's really interesting. Also, the "real life" bit. I have problems with that phrase too, but I don't think I can articulate it well.