Monday, August 16, 2010

BEDA, Day 16: My crazy family, party nonsense, and Margaritaville.

Oh-my-good-lordy-hot-diggity-dawg, am I ever TIRED TODAY. WOW.

Here is a brief re-telling of Pepe's party.

So, we (the moms and my sister) leave for Pepe's house at a bit before 2pm, after scouring the house for EVERYthing that we might need for the party, cooking loads of food (my family is Italian*/French; we love to eat), packing up Pepe's truck with chairs, tables, coolers and more, and getting ourselves all gussied up for a party. All morning, this getting-everything-ready took us.

So we get there, at 2 in the afternoon. Keep in mind, the party starts at 6:30, so we're there pretty damn early.

We UNPACK the truck, set up all the tables, move all the patio furniture down to the lawn, move the tables up to the patio, decorate the yard with decor (smile-faces, peace signs, flowers) left over from a Spring Fling (Homeschool prom) two years ago, and start assembling food and getting everything all set.

Then, people start arriving. It's not 6:30 yet. Not even close. These people are my Pepe's partner, (who I shall call J.U.)'s (yes, he's gay) family. I don't really know any of them. So they congregate over at a table and we continue to run around like chickens missing heads.

Finally, we are all set up.

So, I'm crashed out on Pepe's couch in the living room, when one of J.U.'s family/friends come in the room. He turns to me and says "Hola". (Did I mention that J.U. is from Puerto Rico? No? Well, he is.)
So I say "Hi" back, and turn back to look out the window, like I was before, not really attempting conversation.
Then, he says "Como estas**?". My thoughts went a little like this: "Oh god, what does that mean, now he's looking at me like he wants a reply, and I don't know any spanish, oh wait I guess I do, a bit, but what does como estas mean, is it how are you? yeah, I think that's right, oh well, I'll say that I'm good."

I say "Good." He nods and walks away.

So I go outside, (now the party's started) and I settle down in a chair in the "eldery woman" area. I don't know why, but they flock together, like seagulls or something. There I am, with my very cynical Grandma on one side, next to her is my Great Aunt P. or as I call her, Aunt P. Aunt P is kinda-sorta crazy. I love that woman to death, but she's nuts. She glued a christmas tree upside down on her cealing one year, because she lacked floor space. Did I mention that she's 90?

I can't make this stuff up.

So, on my OTHER side, there's M.M, who is Pepe's next-door nieghbor, and the lady who did the chicken dance with me.
And then there's Aunt J, who is really Great Aunt J, but what the hell. Aunt J is the one who looked at my sister and said "skinny ankles" last year. Yep.

Oh family, how you amuse me.

So, to kick-start the conversation, I say "Grandma, guess what I'm doing this August?" She obviously has no clue, so I tell her: "I'm doing Blog Every Day August" then I stop and realize something "Do you know what a blog is?" To which she replies "It's something on the computer, isn't it?"

I love her. No matter what I'm doing, or if she even knows what the hell it is that I'm doing, she's right behind it, %110.


So, this story isn't mine, I wasn't there. It's my sister's. Credit must be given, where credit is due. Taken DIRECTLY from V's account.



"So, Aunt P was talking about how she couldn't live without Wal-Mart, J said she was boycotting it, and P said something about "then you certainly must go to target".
I told her we were boycotting that to, and she asked why, so I told her about Tom Emmer***, and she said "the church has a problem with gay people, I never have, when they make donations they should think 'are there more Christian people or are there more of the gays?'" And then she was like, "probably more gays".

And then there was a thoughtful silence.

And then she said, "and there are even some Christian gays. R's**** sister, for one."
So, she starts listing gay people, like as if to say, "Oh, I know gay people, let me make a LIST!"

She (Aunt P) mentioned some random people I don't know, and then she said "your mother, my son, and even T." (T is my Pepe)

Aunt J said "So, T is gay."

So, Aunt P said "I assume so, he seems to get along with J.U. very well. I often wondered...I mean to say, there's only one bedroom."

J said "doesn't bother me"

Aunt P said "doesn't bother me either. I don't know if he calls himself 'gay' but he certainly is, I guess."

They both nodded conspiratorially.

Sat in silence, then changed the subject."


Huzzah for V, eh? Lovely tale, that.


So, I ended up doing karaoke. I was not surprised about that. I sung "All Star" three Madonna songs (Happy Birthday, Madonna, by the way!), "Love Shack", "Summer Nights", and Margaritaville. TWICE. There aren't many songs I dislike more than Margaritaville. SO ANNOYING, but I knew the words, and I could keep up with the words and everyone else was singing...There were a few others, but I have forgotten the titles. Suffice it to say that I was an integral part of the karaoke.


That's the highlights from the party. Hope you enjoyed. I know it was a tad long, forgive me.

Goodnight/goodmorning/good-whenever-you-read-this,

~Whimsy


*Sicilian, actually, but hey.

** Can't spell Spanish, forgive me.

*** See this article.

**** R is one of my mums.

3 comments:

  1. Needed some laughter to kickstart my day :) I love old ladies and the things they say, we get a lot of them where I've been working over the summer.

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Nick
    Thankee, thankee. Glad you enjoyed.

    @Charlie
    So happy I could make you laugh! Also, old ladies are hysterically funny. That's half the reason why I sat with them.

    ReplyDelete

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