BEDA, Day 27: The Master Of Darkness.

Kiwi.

The word isn't frighting, it's simply a fruit. Just a brown fuzzy fruit that is oval and green in the middle. Nothing terrifying.

Or is it?

Dear readers, do I have a tale for you.

My Pepe has a bird. It's a green parrot-thingy with a yellow patch on the back of his neck. This bird is the Devil Incarnate.

Not going to lie, that bird scares me. It's name? KIWI, MASTER OF THE DARKNESS.

Fine. The bird's name is just plain old Kiwi, but it should be KIWI, MASTER OF THE DARKNESS.

When I was little, I was walking past The Master Of Darkness, when he went for my eyes. THE BIRD WENT FOR MY EYES. He squaked, and tried to attack my face. I was really young, keep in mind, and I had this big bird in my face, screaming bloody murder and going for my eyes. Needless to say, Kiwi stays in his cage when I come over now.


The Master Of Darkness is also very, very noisy. You try to have a normal conversation and instead you get this sample conversation:

Me: "...so there I was paddling through the woods, in a canoe, composing my obituary and freaking out.**"

Other Person: "You actually started your obituary? That's so funny!"

Me: "Yeah, the water was sweeping me away downstream and I was taking my paddle and attemp-"

The Master Of Darkness: *Gurgling cry like he's dieing*

Other Person: "What were you saying, now?"

Me: "...and attempting to hook it around the nearest tree becau-"

The Master Of Darkness: *another gurgling cry, with added whine of death*

Me: *grits teeth* "BECAUSE there is a waterfall downriver, and I don't want to d-"

The Master Of Darkness: *Nearly yodeling with evil cries of doom*

Me: *squacks right back at him*

Truly, this conversation has been lost.


Another thing The Master Of Darkness does is this: You sit down next to his locked cage, and he will just STARE at you. And then, slowly but surely, he moves over to the edge of his cage, and sliiiiiides down, looking at you, not blinking a bit, and still with murder in his gaze. Then, he fluffs up his neck feathers (as if he needs to be MORE frighting)and lets out a long low rumble.
To complete the terror, he will then take his hooked beak and attempt to BITE HIS WAY OUT OF THE CAGE.

This, combined with the staring and general creepage is the reason why I call Kiwi "The Master Of Darkness".

Actually, I have never called Kiwi "The Master Of Darkness" before, but now I shall.

Damn, that bird is creepy.

~Whimsy

P.S. If you have questions about anything at all, don't forget to put 'em in the comments so you can be included in the answers post!

**True story, this actually happened. It's funny, looking back on it, but it WAS NOT at the time.